A coworker has managed to push a button that sets off you off. You’re not sure why, or if it is just the day – but you find yourself having a severe reaction to them – what do you do?

Confront?

Avoid?

Ignore?

Stew?

Get Back?

Have a rational conversation?

If you were having a really great day, a day when you felt all of your role model skills were flying in the right direction – what would you do?

Likely –
You would internalize it first – very quickly:
• you wouldn’t absorb the coworker’s comments – you wouldn’t take it personally
• you may even learn from their comment
• it wouldn’t affect your flow/rhythm
• if it was valid, you’d take the comment, appreciate, learn from it, adjust and move on.
• if it was meant as an attack – you wouldn’t absorb it – but reflect on it and squarely identified the attack – and call it for what it is.

Unfortunately –
We aren’t always in the best frame of mind/soul when the comments come our way – we may even be surprised by it. So how to handle when you’re a wee bit off your game.
• don’t let others define you
• acknowledge how it makes you feel.
• let them know its how it feels, ask if that was their intent, listen closely, they will either come up with an adjustment, or you have called them on the attack and their intent.
• the closure – that may have been your intent, but it felt like you were attacking me, and that felt wrong.

Toni Chinoy a leadership coach from Virginia shared the approach of how to handle an attacking statement a few years back, and it works.

Keep growing as an individual, practice leadership skills so that you are the role model for others. Develop your own Elegant Courage.