Do you remember when you were young, and an older brother or sister knew just how to ‘push your button’ to get a reaction out of you?  The good news is likely you learned how to deal with that brother or sister…but did you learn how to deal with the button getting push?

Think of the button area; as a thin layer of ice on a lake…at times it may just have a ½ inch layer of ice, it’s hardly noticeable, and few people would detect its vulnerability …until… it becomes stressed.  At that point, the weakness in the ice can crack, become vulnerable, and create a gap or opening in the surface. Knowing your button areas is similar to having your own ‘caution’ sign, that when danger approaches it starts to flash.

1. Identify your buttons.  Curious how to begin?

a. When you get taken off your game, what was it that took you off your game…did someone question your ability, your accuracy, and the details?  Identified what occurred, that took you off your game.

b.   You found yourself responding, much stronger than needed…what button was pushed, that caused you to increase your response?

c.   What button caused you to shutdown?  What was said, what was felt that caused you to shutdown?

2.  Choice when buttons are pushed….Try reframing your response.

a. Be aware and prepared….when you’ve acknowledge what buttons can be pushed – you begin taking charge of your response.

b. When a button is pushed, reframe in a manner that gives you personal strength.  Instead of the button area feeling as vulnerability, reframe it as opportunity.  It could be their intent wasn’t to push your buttons in a negative way.

c. Confident curtailing…remember, if someone is pushing your button to achieve a certain response from you…adjust your response….they’ll stop pushing the button.  So find your adjusted response that keeps your emotions in check.

As leadership coaches, we help individuals learn to adjust behaviors.  Not major overhauls, but rather adjustments that give them confidence and choice.